Woken Up by Rambling
by Gemleaf
Summary: Sanzo is woken up by a woman seemingly talking to herself at his door.


I'm writing a fanfiction right now, but I really wanted to write some bits of development about my OCs. So, um, it might not make complete sense, but try to take it as it is. This is just a writing exercise more than anything, and I just want to see what people think.

...

"Goddammit, I pissed off the gods years ago… why am I even here?"

A bitter, desperate voice stirred Sanzo from an unusual, but welcomed slumber. He groaned, trying to make sense of the flood of wakefulness. Opting against yelling out in the middle of the night, he pressed his ear against the door.

"That man doesn't care. And why should he? It isn't worth it, I'm too far gone… there's nothing left…"

Annoyance flooding through him, he decided that he would be the one to choose whether he cared about something or not. Determined to get some sense out of her, he snapped, "Shut up. You're here now – what is it?"

The voice paused. Clearly she hadn't expected to get any sort of reaction – perhaps her original plan was to just rant at his door and pass out. Another thing struck him, there was a nonsensical, unhinged aspect to her voice, as though her inhibitions were weighed down and everything said was a stream of uncensored thought. "Well, out with it!"

He checked his volume level, not wanting to wake anyone up.

"It's pathetic, isn't it?"

"Masuyo?"

For a while, he didn't even recognize the voice through its confused, uninhibited state – but it became clear who was speaking. "Nah, it's Iza." She laughed strangely.

She paused again, "You should get some sleep… I bothered you enough." He became angry. Very angry. To the point where he wanted to yank the door open and let out a stream of curses. But instead, he controlled himself the best he could, "Don't pull that shit with me, it's like 3 in the morning, and I wake up to you rambling at my door about pissing off the gods; what did you want?!"

Silence responded, but soon enough she was speaking again, a slight waver in her voice. "Well, fuck, I'm sorry, I really am." Sanzo was taken aback, the apology sounded quite genuine. "I feel like shit, and well, I should. But… you're a man of God, aren't ya, Sanzo?"

He didn't know how to answer. For the first time, there was the slightest tug at his conscience before he reminded someone of what he really was. "I suppose I've been trained in those ways, but, I don't worship or follow those teachings-"

"But ya get it, right? I mean, you understand it, a little bit?"

As much as the idea made him uncomfortable, he did, at least, understand religion. "Yeah. I guess so."

Masuyo chuckled, but was broken by a loss of breath, "I never got it. My whole life followin' it, and I never got it. But that's what ya get, being that no good. I wasn't ever no good, Sanzo, I wasn't. Don't have anyone tell ya different, I was rotten to the core…" she caught another attempt at laughing before it began, "But I guess that's not true. I was a runt once, like everyone else. I forget that, ya know?"

She wasn't speaking right – he had never heard that kind of accent from her, maybe the slightest hints of it, but never this thick and unintelligible. "Masuyo… what's this got to do with God?"

"Oh fuck, I forgot."

The answer was so absurd he nearly giggled, but he made sure to keep this on topic. And plus, giggling was for losers. "You remember what you were like?" He had knelt down, gently leaning with an ear pressed against the door. Most of the initial waves of anger and annoyance had subsided, and he was now inquisitive – ready to figure out a motive, whether there was one or not.

"Ha ha, I was a little shit who hung out with the tough crowd to feel tough. I tried too hard…" she choked down a sob, "There I went again, only thinking about myself. She couldn't take it! I fucked up bad, I did, but I didn't want her to just…"

Trying to maintain an even tone, his hands pushed against the door. "You're getting loud." He glanced to his window, where the moonlight was pouring in, "And what happened?"

"I fucked up real bad. I went from bad to worse, there wasn't any saving me now. What kid wants to be a killer? Too bad, that's what I was. But that wasn't it, was it? I was scared, but I just got over it." For a moment, her voice was clear, "One moment, you're a shiftless kid stealing cigarettes, and the next you're getting fucking heads sent to you in a box. Oh, god." This time, there was no holding back whatever emotions she had on her mind, but it wasn't emotion – it was a dry heave.

For a moment, he thought that it may have been because of some recalled physical memory. The pieces, however, fit together differently. Finally pulling open the door, he found the woman clutching her knees, shrunk against the door. The dark circles around her eyes were even darker than usual, and disturbingly enough, her pupils were almost impossible to see – only a dark orb of green stared not at him, but at the ceiling above. "What the hell, Masuyo!" he knelt to her level, grasping her shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"I don't… I don't remember. Fuck, I felt like shit. But who cares?! I don't… I don't care about remembering, or I don't remember to care… hell, it could be either." Those eyes were growing dimmer, and her words became even more slurred and nonsensical. She was about to pass out. Sanzo hesitantly pulled her into his arms, noting how light and nearly bony her body was. Shutting down, everything about her, physically and mentally was shutting down. Only one guy he knew could stop it, at least physically, and that would be Hakkai.


End file.
